Why change can be hard
Why Change Doesn’t Happen…
1. Conscious Intention and Subconscious Drivers are not aligned
There’s something you want to change (your diet, sleep, exercise, writing a book, anything). Usually you know what to do. And you may even be aware of the reasons you’re not doing it. So what gives? You’re committed to something else, and staying in the current situation. And what will change this? Often times it’s loss. Have you noticed how people make better choices after they’ve lost a loved one or their health, or a job? Of course, no one I know would consciously choose loss. So how can we align our conscious and unconscious? The key is to create space where the conscious mind is taken off-line. That’s why great ideas happen in the shower. Your conscious is busy showering while the unconscious can communicate with you.
2. The change is not experienced in the body
It’s one thing to say you want to cut back on drinking. It’s another thing to get so sick from it that you never want to experience that feeling again. It’s in the body. That’s how I stopped drinking a lot of coffee. I had *more* coffee until the jitters were so bad that I didn’t want to experience it again. But this can work on the positive side too. I’m working on my evening rituals right now. I have this desire to work into the night, but I know it just stresses my sleep and I don’t do quality work that way. So I’m making myself take every night off with enjoyable things, in the body (yoga, hot tub/bath, cannabis, reading, talking to friends, etc).
3. You’re alone
Can I get a witness? There’s a reason weddings don’t happen alone. Public commitment + a supportive community makes long term change way easier. The missing hack to productivity is making it social.